


kasu

by eeveleon



Category: Boruto: Naruto Next Generations, Naruto
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, F/M, Gen, Hyuuga Neji Lives, Kinda, before boruto for sure, just because, poor iruka sensei, takes place during blank period, the kids are just mentioned
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-05
Updated: 2021-01-05
Packaged: 2021-03-15 17:40:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,213
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28567872
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/eeveleon/pseuds/eeveleon
Summary: The biannual Land of Fire dinner was this weekend, and as renowned shinobi of Konoha, the former Teams 7, 8, Gai, and 10, along with their significant others, were always invited. At some point in their life, most likely during some late night drunken conversations, the now fully-grown Konoha 11 (technically 13? 15?) had decided to pick which unlucky duo stayed back in the village with their kids through a convoluted, ridiculous, overly complicated version of koi-koi.And somehow, it had worked out pretty well for the past couple years.
Relationships: Akimichi Chouji/Karui, Haruno Sakura/Uchiha Sasuke, Hyuuga Hinata/Uzumaki Naruto, Hyuuga Neji/Tenten, Nara Shikamaru/Temari, Sai/Yamanaka Ino
Comments: 6
Kudos: 36





	kasu

**Author's Note:**

> Naruto fanfiction? in the year 2021? its more likely than you think
> 
> inspired by the last second of the boruto intro teenage dream because i only saw sasuke and naruto there at first and thought "hey wouldnt that be funny"
> 
> my entire knowledge of koi-koi comes from wikipedia and that boruto ending song so. yeah.  
> i just wanted them to play cards

“ _ Alright _ .” The cards flew precisely from hand to hand. “Remember the rules: no cheating of any kind - no Byakugan, no mind reading, no seals, no clones, and no damn Sharingan. This is all pure skill - and luck.”

“If we’re being fair, then  _ you _ can’t use your genius brain either.” 

“Yeah, well,” a smirk twitched on Shikamaru’s lips as he flexed the cards once again. “I can’t exactly turn that off.”

Ino scoffed, throwing her empty cup at her old teammate, with the rest of their friends joining in with their own trash. Shikamaru laughed as he even dodged a kunai. “Hey, hey,” He held up his hands placatingly. “I’m the last person who would cheat at this round. This is the one job that I  _ don’t _ mind.”

“Why don’t you just make it easier for all of us and volunteer?” Tenten sighed tiredly, and Hinata nodded rapidly in agreement. 

Shikamaru shuffled the deck diligently, finally starting to deal. “It’s a drag, but my wife wants to go to that party, so I kinda have to go with her.” 

Temari draped an arm over his shoulder. “I hope, for your sake, that’s a compliment.”

“Of course, dear.” 

The biannual Land of Fire dinner was this weekend, and as renowned shinobi of Konoha, the former Teams 7, 8, Gai, and 10, along with their significant others, were always invited. At some point in their life, most likely during some late night drunken conversations, the now fully-grown Konoha 11 (technically 13? 15?) had decided to pick which unlucky duo stayed back in the village with their kids through a convoluted, ridiculous, overly complicated version of koi-koi. 

And somehow, it had worked out pretty well for the past couple years. 

Although there were the same usual complaints. 

“Man, it’s so unfair that me and Shino have to be a part of this.” Kiba whined. “We don’t even have kids.” 

“This is true. And yet, there is a possibility you trust us with your children. Why? Because-”

“Because you’re a teacher and I’m amazing, yeah, I know.” Kiba interjected. “But still!”

Sakura waved them down. “It’s a part of tradition now - you guys are here to stay.” She glanced around, noticing as they all picked up their cards. “Now, are we ready to start the final round?”

“Wait, wait!” Naruto was clutching his cards like they were sent from the Hokage himself. “Which ones are the losing card again?”

“Ah.” Sai smiled. “I know who is not going to the dinner.”

The group of friends laughed at the expense of their future Hokage, who was still struggling to sort his cards. Koi-koi was a relatively simple game, especially for those who had grown up playing it, but this special round version was certainly something that had to be studied. First, it had been reconfigured to account for more than two players, and then combos were adjusted accordingly. The dregs, which normally would contribute at least 1 point, were now demoted to a value of -1. The more dregs in the hand, the more likely a loss. Instant wins still existed, although much more rare than in an usual game. Lightning, the usual wild card, had been replaced by the March  _ Tanzaku _ set, and depended on Shikamaru’s mood, much to everyone's chagrin. Meanwhile, the aforementioned Lightning card had 0 points instead. 

With all experienced players at the table, the game progressed rather quickly. Starting with Kiba, who cheered as he cashed out an instant win, one by one, the number of players began to dwindle. Naruto was somehow holding on, only barely keeping himself from cheating. 

The two hands with the lowest scores would have to stay back as babysitters for the night, and the stakes were rising. 

Tension rose as Shikamaru laid out his cards, depicting his favorite set. “Ha!  _ InoShikaCho _ again, and I’m out.” He pulled out a cigarette in celebration. 

“Cheater!” Neji scowled in disbelief from across the table. “How do you always manage to win with the exact same set?”

“The same way you’ve sucked at this game for the past decade, Neji.” Choji snickered, neatly placing his hand down. “I’m safe too.”

Five pairs of eyes darted around the table, five sets of cards left. 

Ino bit her nail as she noted who was left. Naruto, Sasuke, Neji, Shino, and herself. Her own stupid husband was sitting back, watching the game with a calm smile on his face. 

If Sai went to the dinner without her, she was going to throw a fit. If she had to run after all of the children  _ and  _ Naruto, she was definitely going to kill someone. 

Shino picked up the last of the deck, and let out a pleased  _ hmph _ . “Game over.” He stated, and showed his cards. “ _ Aotan _ .”

Neji followed, muttering under his breath, “Thank Kami.” His cards showed the Cherry Blossom suit - Shikamaru was in a good mood today.

Ino surveyed her cards, then the remaining two victims, then again her cards. Recounting brought her a sigh of relief. She had nothing but  _ Tane _ , but at least it was something. “...Two points!”

Now, only the two war legends were left. 

Naruto stared at Sasuke. 

Sasuke glared right back.

“Oh, c’mon guys! Let’s get it over with.” Sakura, as always, was the only voice of reason in Team 7. 

Honorary member Sai never liked to get too directly involved. Too high was the risk of collateral damage.

Sasuke groaned, prodded by his wife. “I have... nothing.” 

And true to his word, his cards truly amounted to 0 points. The junk cards negated anything he had. 

Ino visibly cheered up, but then the realization hit, and her heart sank. 

The room fell oddly silent very fast. 

“H-hold on.” Tenten was the first to speak. “Does this mean- is Sasuke going to...  _ babysit _ ?!”

Immediately, the parents in the room were in distress.

Karui rubbed her forehead roughly. “You have got to be kidding me.”

Shikamaru took a long drag of his cigarette. “Damn, you’re worse than Neji at this game.” Just because he didn’t really like the man didn’t mean he couldn’t poke some fun at him.

“Hm.” Sai’s gaze darted between the sets laid out on the table. “Should we have a redo?”

“Aw, that’s so not fair.”

“Shut up, Kiba.” Ino’s scowl deepened. “This is serious! What’s going to happen to our kids?”

“I could do it.” Sasuke defended himself stubbornly.

“Sasuke,” Choji started kindly, “We know you’ve fully reformed and all, but, well, we also know how you are with children.”

“ _ How _ .”

Lee, optimistic as ever, stopped the argument before it started. “At least he won’t be alone! Please, let us see who will be helping him watch after my dear Metal!”

All heads swiveled over to the orange-clad man, who had been uncharacteristically silent for far too long. 

Someone, Temari, moved Ino’s cards to the center of the table. “The number to beat is 2, Naruto.” She stated. “Please show me the next Hokage can be trusted.”

Naruto’s hands were  _ trembling _ as he gripped his cards tightly. He then took a deep breath, steadying himself, and displayed his hand. “My score is...”

There was nothing but flowers. 

“...Negative 8.”

If it had been silent after the last reveal, it was the complete opposite with this revelation.

Ino had never been more conflicted about a card game before. “Yes! Wait-” She gasped. “No!”

Shikamaru stared slack-jawed at the set of cards. “Oi.” The cigarette slipped from his mouth. “They’re going to kill our kids.”

“Hey-!” 

“That’s not true.” Sasuke interrupted his wife. “I never killed any of you.”

“Oh,  _ that’s  _ reassuring!” Karui fumed, regretting having ever moved to Konohagakure.

Neji, meanwhile, was addressing his other concerns. “Were you purposefully trying to lose? This hand cannot be possible.”

Shikamaru rubbed his chin thoughtfully. “I never thought of this outcome.” He admitted. “Worst possibility in my mind was Kiba and Lee, but this is, well,  _ troublesome _ .”

“Yeah, thanks for nothing,  _ genius _ .” Temari rolled her eyes as she leaned heavily onto her husband’s arm.

“Oh well,” She added thoughtfully. “Shikadai’s lived a long life.”

“ _ Temari _ !”

“Actually, you know what, it can’t be that bad.” Tenten got everyone’s attention with her cheerful tone. “I mean, Naruto  _ does _ have two kids! Right, Hinata?”

Hinata felt all her friends turn to stare at her, waiting for some kind of guarantee or praise for her husband’s parenting skills. The pressure nearly tied her tongue, but even as her face continued to redden, Hinata managed to nod. “Y-yeah! O-of course!”

The illusion of reassurance was shattered nearly immediately by the sound of poorly muffled laughter coming from the two seats next to her. 

Kiba was snickering into his jacket, which was nothing special. But to make matters worse,  _ Shino’s _ shoulders were shaking lightly. 

“Oh man, Hinata,” the former sighed nostalgically. “You’ve always been a bad liar. Right, Shino?”

“Yes. Undeniably.” 

Naruto turned to his wife, aghast. “Hinata!” The betrayal was clearly written on his face, not that Hinata could see it, with her face buried in her hands. 

Sasuke turned to the woman next to him, wondering if she had a similar belief. Sakura didn’t even bother glancing up from her nails. “You better take very careful notes on everything I tell you tomorrow, Uchiha Sasuke.” She shook her head, repeating slowly. “ _ Very _ .  _ Careful _ .”

Choji was trying to come up with a plan that appeased his wife but also didn’t pull anyone else into the fire. “There’s gotta be someone else we can ask. Maybe- maybe someone to check in on these two.”

“Great.” Karui drawled. “The babysitters need babysitters.”

Still, she waited for a name to be announced. Unfortunately for Choji, everyone they trusted with all of their children at the same time was already in the room. “How about, uh, Mirai?”

“Mirai is literally 7 years old.” Shikamaru rolled his eyes. “I’d say we could ask our parents to ease the load on the two legendary idiots, but they don’t return from their trip until the day after.”

Temari crossed her arms, more than a little amused at the show. “ _ I’d _ say I could call Kankuro, but a fat lot of good that’d do.”

“Please, dear woman, don’t make this any worse.”

Ino gracefully ignored Shikamaru getting his ear pulled off to watch her best friend scold her original teammates. Sakura may have been a gifted doctor and fighter, but there was little even she could do against the infamous  _ dobe _ .

Naruto had his eyes squeezed shut, a poor attempt at blocking out Sakura’s anger. At least his years of friendship with her had taught him something - never interrupt an already-angry Sakura unless he wanted to get punched through the wall. 

“Honestly, you two, this just shows how irresponsible the both of you are! Maybe a little less crime-fighting and a little more parenting,  _ right _ ?!” 

The second sentence was obviously aimed at someone specific, and both Ino and Sai turned to see the reaction. 

Sasuke looked like he wished he had never returned to the village.

“It’s alright.” Hinata sighed slowly, having recovered from her embarrassment. “I will ask Iruka-sensei to help us out as a favor. A very  _ big  _ favor.” 

With her daughter as the youngest, she had the most to worry about. Perhaps she should teach Boruto a few tips just in case.

“No, I don’t know.” Sakura frowned. “There’s a high chance these idiots leave Iruka-sensei all on his own.”

“Or, even better,” Kiba’s gleeful voice entered the conversation. “Iruka-sensei takes it back to the Academy days and spends the night chewing them out.”

Ino was busy trying to imagine their old teacher yelling at Naruto and Sasuke - not that it was hard - and almost didn’t notice her husband lean forward in his chair.

“Wow.” Sai’s voice was even as he took a gamble. “Now I wish I was staying back as well. I would love to see Iruka-sensei yell at the dickless and the traitor. Although,” He added, the serene smile still on his face as he dangled the bait. “I wonder who he will yell at more.”

The fire in their eyes was lit immediately. 

To their credit, Sakura and Hinata handled their rapid questions with ease. 

Shikamaru, ear throbbing painfully, snorted when he noticed the activated Sharingan and the slight orange aura. He had to hand it to the former Root member. Nothing got those two motivated like a little unhealthy competition. After all, it had been the basis for their entire relationship.

“I suppose we should be grateful we don’t have to deal with that kind of trouble on a daily basis.” Temari called to Karui over the noise, the other woman shaking her head at the scene in front of her.

Shikamaru huffed a laugh, a fresh cigarette in his mouth. “Yeah, well, while they were busy destroying mountains, we were busy chasing a messy little toddler.”

Between a handful of potato chips, his childhood friend agreed. “True.” Choji nodded sagely. “When do you think they’ll realize Sai was messing with them?”

“Not ‘til long after the dinner.” Shikamaru folded his arms behind his head, side-eyeing his wife. “So I guess we are actually going to that troublesome thing?”

The look she gave him almost made him wish he was in Naruto’s place. 

Almost.

**Author's Note:**

> this was written in the middle of the night and i sincerely hope it makes sense


End file.
